Sukiyaki

This week has been such a long one and although it's Friday, it's not the start of my weekend. Oh yes, I am the only 20 something year old in my department to be working late on Halloween weekend. I mean it's good for me anyways just because the chance of relapse is higher. Plus, I didn't feel like dressing up for once and I just want to come home and snuggle with my little poopoo puppies.

I am loving my new Essie color, Chinchilly. It is a perfect charcoal grey and it reminds me of the color of those putty-like charcoal erasers. This is taken with the light on.

This is with natural light.

I've also received my Elizabeth and James rings!

One in gold.

One in silver.

I actually really like Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's contemporary line. I'm always looking for their stuff on sale.

Thursday night I made some awesome homemade guacamole with tomatoes for the Giants vs. Rangers game. I wanted "bar" like food and we also had wings, hot links with peppers (my favorite of the night!) and a cold coke.

Tonight we had sukiyaki! I haven't had this in so long! It's basically like Shabu Shabu but without the broth and we used bulgogi isntead of just regular meat. It was so delicious. We also had cellaphane noodles with this as well.

Well, I need to get crackin on my homework =P.

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Jealous?!

Sorry for that crazy post last night. I just didn't want to not show my whole world because it's so dark sometimes. I want to be able to who I really am and show through this blog my progression in life while sharing my ups and downs. I mean it would be great to always have the ups but life's not always daises sometimes they're thorny dark roses. So, I want to keep this blog real for my readers but I don't want you guys to worry or anything I just want people to listen sometimes. So, I am sorry about my dark post.

Anyways, enough of that matter I have been eating very well.

My sister made us Trader Joe's Indian food with frozen naan and it was delicious! Best frozen Indian food.

I've also been getting early enough before work to eat some breakfast. I bought freeze-dried strawberries and ate it with my rice krispies. This is before the milk.

Then after the milk. It was really good.

This was my packed "lunch" or more like snacks for work. I bought these individual sized Sabra hummus at Costco. I know they're not really eco-friendly but it's just so convenient! I also had a banana and a Trader Joe's honey nonfat Greek yogurt. One of my favorites.

Now here is the best part:

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Yogurts galore!!! My lovely sister went to Mollie Stone's for me and got me 8 Fages (4 for $5) and 20 wallaby's, 10 raspberry flavor and 10 peach flavor (10 for$7). I am in yogurt heaven. My sister mentioned how crazy she looked when she checked out. I told her she was the best sister EVA.

I also bought 3 squashes. I got a squatternut bosh (hehe), kobacha and acorn squash. I want to just cut them up and bake them but I also want to make some awesome butternut squash soup. The ones that I remembered eating as a child. So, heres to some posts about squash experiments!

Now, I will enjoy eating some yogurt with every meal LOL

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Tweaking
Warning: this has serious and personal content and may scare some.

I had my first therapy session with Richard today. I don't know how neurotic I was but we went to therapy to help us and then we get there and had the therapist tell us there is no way to help us at this point. Rejected, rejected and then rejected some more. I felt hopeless that someone that we are paying money for isn't able to help us out. I don't even know why we went into therapy in the first place. But, we get there and the therapist basically told us he couldn't help us. So the next scene was basically me having a total meltdown. The biggest one in a long time. So Richard finally drives me to my house, my mom and dad were called out. I'm totally going insane and I realize that I hated my life. My mom manages to talk to Richard and calm him down. Richard then takes my dad to where my car was parked. I couldn't stop crying and I had a long talk with my mom and my dad and I don't know what I got from that but I just can't deal with anything right now. I don't know why but then my mom fed me two sleeping pills and behind her back I took 2 codeines and had a crapload of rum. I don't know if it was the combination of the prescription medicine and the amount of alcohol in my system but I was laying on the floor and only heard the slow breathing of my own and I don't know if I closed my eyes or not but I see the old riCH and AnniE, they were staring down at me asking what had happened to me. I looked up at them and saw the happy riCH and AnniE and I cried because they looked at me and pitied me. They were in that oblivious love-state that Richard and I used to be in. What is the Richard and Annie now? There's nothing and then I realized that I do want to get better and to try and do this therapy with Richard and get something out of it. I texted Richard and told him that we both owe it to riCH and AnniE. We both owe it to the sweet little couple that we were, the innocent richard and annie that met when I was 10 and went to the same church and both got baptized together, the couple that believed so much in love that we wanted to spend every waking minute together. We owe it to the people that believed in love because of us. We owe it to everyone. We owe it to ourselves.

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Fall is Here

I love when it gets cold and rainy. I was born and raised here in the Bay Area and for as long as I can remember I just loved the cold. I love wearing my peacoats in the middle of July and wearing rainboots in the rain. I love crunching on the leaves while seeing my breath in the air.

I've also realized that Fall is here because of my Mollie Stones ad.

I was looking at ads (as I do on Mondays) and write my grocery list out for that week. Well let's just say it was the best ad so far this week! Favorites including Fage is 4 for $5, wallaby organic yogurt are 10 for $7 and best of all, all the squashes are cheap! I'm definitely putting kobacha and butternut squash in my basket this week. It's also killing me because the sale starts tomorrow while I'm at work! You obviously can tell that Fage will be gone ASAP. I am taking their whole stock! My sister also agreed she would shop for me so I will clutch onto my iPhone hoping she would be able to get everything on the list for me.

Wish my sister and I good luck! Lol

My mom also took the time to make homemade dumplings. They're made with cabbage, onions, tofu, ground pork, green onions and bean sprouts. The only thing I don't like about Korean dumplings are how thin the dumpling skins are! I love the Chinese ginger pork and chives dumplings with the doughy skin. They're still good though!

You can eat dumplings in many different ways. So far I've eaten them steamed, boiled and in soups. I think the best way to eat them are in soups though but it's because I love soups.

Another sign that fall is here? Persimmons! They are so delicious and they are so ripe right now.

I've also indulged in the McDonald's bandwagon for the McRib.

Come on! These only come once in every few years! You bet I got me one!

I've also got some new colors for Fall. My favorites are chinchilly (the middle Essie one) and OPI's Lincoln park after dark. Chinchilly is a shade of grey and Lincoln park after dark  is a dark jeweled-tone purple.

Delicious

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Cafe Venue

I've recently come across a new restaurant near Bloomingdale's. You see, I don't really venture outside the mall when I want to buy lunch sometimes and my vegetarian coworker always raved about this place. I've never really looked for it just because I've always usually craved something indulgent like burgers and french fries and if I wanted sandwiches or soups I would walk my butt up to Union Square and go to Boudin's.

Then I met up with one of my friends in high school and we decided to meet up for lunch one day and I decided to give Cafe Venue a shot.

(picture taken from http://www.google.com/)



(picture taken from www.google.com)



I got the half salad/half sandwich combo. You can't tell from this photo but the portions were huge! The salad wasn't just romaine and dressing, it was greens with carrots, red onions, cucumbers, mushrooms and she was about to dump bleu cheese on it but I opted out of that. So it was a really great side salad and I only had half because it was a lot. My sandwich was turkey club and they did not skimp on the ingredients. She also sliced the avocado right in front of me and the bread was so soft and delicious. It came with tortilla chips and I think it comes with it when you get salad because my friend got soup and he didn't get any chips. I got all of this for about $8.00.

I am definitely going back there again.

Cafe Venue

67 5th Street

San Francisco, CA 94103

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Sweet Little Treat

I've been having weird appetites lately, eating some things that I never usually crave or normally wouldn't eat or I hardly ever eat. I guess when you're emotional (and on your period) you just have weird cravings.

While waiting in line to meet Tyler Florence, my sister and I were conveniently right across Pinkberry. I don't really usually like cold stuff like ice cream (I'll even wait for my yogurt to be at room-temperature) but for some reason I was craving frozen yogurt with toppings. Pinkberry has got to be the best frozen yogurt I have tried. This literally tasted like frozen Greek yogurt. It was tangy and sweet and I immediately got on my iPhone to see if it was actually Greek yogurt (website didn't say). I must've enjoyed it so much that the people in front and back of us in line went to Pinkberry to buy themselves a treat.

I've been enjoying my coffee every morning. It's gotten really chilly again in the bay and hot coffee is so great when you're walking outside downtown San Francisco early morning and you can see your breath in the cold air.

One of those chilly days it got really warm in Bloomingdale's and I had to have myself a Jamba Juice. I don't even like smoothies or milkshakes! So it was really weird that I was craving it. I found a hair on top of my smoothie but I just fished it out and the surrounding smoothie that I thought was contaminated and just kept drinking away. I got Aloha Pineapple because I love pineapples.

Then I had a craving for boxed Mac and Cheese and ate half of it plain and the other half I added a can of tuna and more cheese.

Nostalgia.

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The Ultimate Meeting

I've had the greatest pleasure in meeting one of my favorite chefs, Tyler Florence, at one of my favorite stores, Sur La Table. It was one of the most coolest moments of my life! I mean I do see a bunch of celebrities working at Bloomingdale's but we employees are never allowed to talk to the celebrity unless they happen to talk to you.

My sister and I got there an hour early to wait in line (we were really close!!). The book signing was suppose to happen at 5pm but Tyler Florence came 30 minutes later. I only noticed because he actually came from the back of line to the front (while filming on his iPhone) and he walked into the store. I only noticed it was him because he said, "What's up guys?" while casually walking to the front of the store. I am hoping he will upload the video on his website because I want to see the back of my head!
The employees at Sur La Table said he was only signing books but that I could ask him to sign my martini glass and to not be afraid because he is a really nice guy. I was really nervous but he was really nice and did sign my martini glass for me! He totally asked how I was doing and even shook my hand!!

It was awesome! I even asked him what he drinks at Starbucks: venti hot coffee with three shots of espresso, dry? I don't know what "dry" means in Starbucks lingo but I definitely will need to try it just because you can totally trust a chef's palate!

My martini glass!! EEK!

It was such a great experience and I am glad he is not a diva (unlike some celebrities that shop at Bloomingdale's LOL)

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Brunch

One of my favorite meals has to be brunch. I love the eggs benedict, savory egg crepes, toast with jam, the ambiance and especially mimosas. Lately, I have not been able to get out of bed until 10 and that is the perfect time to get a big cup of coffee and an awesome brunch ready. I've had the past two days off and I've been home alone in the mornings so it made me really appreciate the art of brunch.

My first omelette was just broccoli and parmesan. I didn't have any omelette ingredients so I did what I could at the time. I've also had "pugliese," and I'm only putting quotation because that is what the bread cover said but it tasted like sourdough. Either way it was fine with me because I love sourdough.
I had a big cup of coffee. This was my first cup in two weeks since my dehydration and I wish I had gotten good coffee. This is coffee re-brewed from my parent's coffee grinds in the morning. It was so watery and disgusting that I only could have a few sips. Since I enjoyed brunch so much I decided to go to Trader Joe's and buy some ingredients. I also got instant coffee since I'm only making coffee for myself in the mornings. I didn't realize Trader Joe's had instant coffee! I opened this up this morning and it smelled like ass. Of course once it was mixed in with hot water (it dissolved really quickly) and fat-free milk, it smelled like good ole coffee.

It wasn't exactly Peet's coffee or Bluebottle but it's a lot better than reusing coffee grinds.

This omelette is made with crimini mushrooms, baby spinach, italian sausage, parmesan cheese (all purchased from Trader Joe's), two eggs, salt and pepper and of course a ton of chili flakes. I also enjoyed mini bagels (purchased from Trader Joe's) with light cream cheese. It has been a few weeks since I've had a bagel and it was so delicious!

I enjoyed both omelettes with a healthy dosage of ketchup.

Well I am back to working tomorrow and I'm hoping I can get up early enough to make and enjoy brunch.

p.s. a very special post tomorrow!

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Missing You

Lately I've been really missing everything. I miss Richard and our times together. I miss my sweet sweet Richard. In times like these, I don't know where to turn sometimes but what I do to but go back and do the things that we used to love to do together; such as eating. We first discovered Chipotle together. I remember the first time we've ever found Chipotle, we were driving around and we decided to venture out and try something new but we weren't really hungry so we shared tacos at Chipotle. We enjoyed it so much we came back that night for dinner (we crossed our fingers hoping we wouldn't get the same person!). Ever since then, we would then enjoy Chipotle on our bed and chatted while we ate late at night.

I wasn't very hungry at work and I had packed a salad for work that I didn't eat and decided to bulk up my Chipotle mess with it.
I also got an Izze to enjoy with my meal (classic coke would've been better though =P)

I basically got everything but the hot sauce and the beans. They were trying to smush it all down to put the cover on.

I miss eating Chipotle with you. I miss you eating my leftovers the most.

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Macrobiotic

I am always on the prowl for food trends and diets and I think I wanna try and experiment with the macrobiotic diet. I've always wanted to get back to my Asian roots and live simpler and sometimes I would pretend that I am a Buddhist monk who can only eat vegetables with my brown rice. I sometimes feel like the simpler foods would make me feel better and hopefully get rid of all the toxins in my body.

Until then I will be needing to do research on the diet and hopefully become inspired or motivated to actually do it.

I had Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt. Dare I say that I love Trader Joe's brand Greek yogurt over Fage? Shocking, I know. I didn't realize this was full fat! Oh well it was a delicious treat and now I will definitely be reading labels.

A really bad side effect of a broken heart means I have lost my appetite. It's not like I don't want to eat, it's just sometimes I feel that lump in my throat and I feel full after two bites. I knew I wanted soup of some sort (it was really hot in the morning and got really cold later on in the day) and got miso soup at the food court. I don't know what they put in their stock but it's so much flavorful than mine (maybe msg?).

Well, I now have a tub of cookie dough waiting to be eaten.

Goodnight.

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COACH loves

I've yet to have a Coach bag in my collection. It seems odd but I just didn't like the fact that so many teenyboppers would carry those monogrammed C's handbag around school or at the malls. They just seemed childish to me. But, I've been really looking at their bags now and they are more sophisticated with their leather bags.
This here is the Kristin bag and I am longing for one. I like to have everything classy and classic so I want to get this beautiful taupe color because it's a neutral color. The black seemed too harsh for sophistication but this color makes this bag.

Then I saw their booties and I fell in love. I saw these and it made my heart swoon. These are THE booties in my opinion. It's a peeptoe bootie with straps with gold buckles. These are definitely on my wishlist. I'd definitely would wear these with grey long cableknit socks that go to the knee. Or pair them with boyfriend chinos. These are to die for.

I'm so glad I work at Bloomingdale's and I get my discount!

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Broken Painted Hearts

Ever hear of people dying of a broken heart? As romantic as it sounds, it is very harsh in reality. I haven't been sleeping, I've been eating but still constantly losing weight and it's hard for me to get out of bed. I've been sick for more than a month now and I haven't been sick in a couple of years. From all of my symptoms and no matter how I want to get better mentally, my heart just doesn't want to go on.

I don't expect people to understand...

I went to a dinner with my sister and my friend who's been worried about my state (she's been with me through this whole ordeal) decided to get some Japanese food.

*I love Japanese food, the only Asian food I grew up with was Korean and Japanese food. Little do people know, Korean and Japanese food are very similar. Japanese food was always made in my house like tonkatsu, miso soup, udon, ramen, chicken teriyaki, seaweed salad and soba. Chinese food was always our go-to restaurant where we would get steamed dumplings filled with minced pork, chives, and ginger. I love Chinese dumplings a lot. Korean and Japanese don't have as much flavor or a variety and it's often filled with noodles but nothing compares to Chinese dumplings*

So we went to Okazu-ya in San Francisco and I got a shrimp tempura udon. I also shared salmon roll, spicy tuna roll, simple green salad (gotta love the mayo-based dressing) and of course my lovely seaweed salad.

I left feeling really content with food in my belly, good conversations with friends all while drinking green tea.
It actually warmed my soul tonight.

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raw food diet

I realized that I need to eat more nutrients since I have been getting sick very often. I've been lacking in nutrients from vegetables and fruit.

Some of the reasons include, laziness, laziness and laziness.

Yes, it is a horrible habit and hopefully I will rise above and stop being so lazy and cut up my strawberries, my vegetables, my lettuce for my salad, roast my brussel sprouts, steam my green beans and munch on carrots with hummus.

So, I've decided I want to go 50% raw.

I've been eating two meals a day and one of those meals, I've decided to eat raw. I will eat salads or raw vegetables and just not cooking my meals.

So, I will start day (hopefully)

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I am now back on blogspot. It was a big decision since I know wordpress has a lot more layout options and a lot more people blog on wordpress but I'm not really computer-savvy and it just made more sense that I move back here.

Today was one of those days. I woke up with anxiety especially from nightmares and maybe because of the nyquil that was consumed the night before. Everything was going from bad to worse and then I looked at my bank account and realized that I overdrew my account. It was the last straw and I couldn't get over how well I was doing until this point. I had to get out of the house and just drove.

I drove until I couldn't drive anymore and then I just sat there and thought about everything. When are things going to get better? Is this the worse that's going to happen?

After a few hours of thinking I drove back home and slept for awhile. I guess taking a nap helped my mental state. I guess when I really need to sleep I will sleep.

I need comfort right now.
My sister finally cooked dinner a couple nights ago. This was barbequed spareribs that was braised for a couple of hours, sauteed green beans with mushrooms, garlic and shallots and all eaten with garlic mashed potatoes.

I ate as much as I could and realized how comforting this meal was.

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